Contentment

On the fringe of self-reliance and self-preservation I toil daily. Only in the unashamed praise of the Christ am I able to overcome lack of understanding, unbelief, and pride. Only in the freedom of worship can I look past the temporary and gaze into the eternal. I am reminded, today, of the grace of Jesus Christ in the times of doubt and fear.

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:10

I am so strong for my sake, that I have become weak for Christ's. For my life is often in contradiction to the apostle's instruction. O'Lord, may I rely completely on you, without putting the least of trust in a single atom of myself. For your sake, then, cause me to be content with my weaknesses, allow me to receive insults in self-control, give me hope to endure hardships, love to endure persecutions, and faith to endure calamities.

Breadcrumbs

Just made dinner for my wife. Breakfast actually... we had cinnamon french toast with hot syrup. Still we sat down to eat around half past seven. We thanked God for our food, and asked for grace for the rest of the night. We stopped talking then and began stuffing our faces with as much syrup-saturated-toast as our forks could handle. When I paused to breathe (don't judge me!), my eyes drifted to the floor and caught sight of my dog.

And in seeing my dog, I saw myself at the table of Christ. My dog, follows me wherever I go. Sometimes I spin to look for her, but she is so close I can not see her, and I will bump into her. She is nearly always on my heals. When I take a shower she waits by the door, when I come home she stands up to meet me, when I lie down she jumps up near my face to lick my cheek, and when I eat, she bows and patiently and quietly glares up at me. She begs for food. Food that only her master can give. She is always near, for she knows that I am her master.

And in seeing my dog, I saw myself possessing not the wisdom she had. For she is wise to stay near, wise to beg quietly and earnestly, she is wise to listen for my call, she is wise to follow me closely at all times. If I raise my voice, she cowers, if I console her, she is consoled, and if I praise her, she is satisfied with great joy.

In seeing my dog respond to me, I understood more about how I should respond to Jesus. I felt like the Syrophoenician woman from Mark 7:27-28 who when Jesus said "...to her, "Let the children be fed first, for it is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs." She answered him saying, "Yes, Lord; yet even the dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs."

Please feed me crumbs from your table O'God.